NEFARIOUS CHRONICLES

For the Lonely Queen

2011-12-05T04:28:00.000-08:00

You wear a fake smile on your profile picture

Next to a man who you barely know

Being pretty is not always right

But being lonely is always wrong

The crown you have on ,while on that high horse

Means nothing to your friends

Take a look around now, my queen

And tell me what you see?

Only a mirror, with a blank frozen face

Almost forgot about this!

2011-10-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

Pauline

2010-07-12T00:02:00.001-07:00

Pauline the Octopus yesterday

Pauline during happier times with the football.

Pauline the octopus today - following the Spain Vs Netherlands Football match

ALDO bag for sale

2010-07-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

ALDO bag for sale!

pls ctc me on this blog space for details

I work with backstabbing "friends"

2010-05-04T06:37:00.001-07:00

.. as I horrifyingly discovered today by accident.

I scrolled down my colleague's Skype History by mistake at first , only wanting to shut off the damned application .

and then something caught my eye.

looked like a (bitchy) comment (exaggerated of course) made by me. hmmm. what was that doing all typed up on a skype conversation?

of course I had to read the blooming thing only to discover my only two lovely colleagues have been bitching about me for the past year.

NICE.

and some of the conversations went something like this

fugly 1 - look at her inside that meeting room. at first she didnt want the new post and now after she goes inside she suddenly wants it?

fugly 2- yah , I can hear her say something positive about the company.

fugly 1- she is so cunning. she gets what she wants and the two of us will have to go out while she sits in office and does the marketing work? no way!

fugly 2 - I know. she totally sucks. Bitch

so fugly 1 and fugly 2 (until today) were very close to me. They even read my blog.

AAAAAND when I confront them about it, all they can say is they felt frustrated because I was blunt about everything.

now how about that?

Conversations with BOY

2010-03-03T16:37:00.000-08:00

( phone buzzes with a new text message)

Boy - What you watching?

Me - American Idol!!

Boy - Oh. I'm Not not watching Idol today. boring. watching a documentary on rubber instead.

Me - ?

The Headache

2010-02-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Boy – I have a headache
Me – u poor thing. Where exactly does it hurt?
Boy - right bottom above the medulla oblongata
Me - er.. WTF?

What the FRACK??

2010-01-20T05:45:00.001-08:00

On my way home from work this evening I managed to capture this in Town Hall.

F21 dress for sale!

2009-12-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

I am selling a forever21 dress for LKR 2000/=

If anyone is interested pls email me on nim272@gmail.com

A letter to my sixteen year old self

2009-12-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

As tagged by papareboy

I'm a Bitch!

2009-11-12T22:12:00.000-08:00

I m a bitch
Cos I don’t care how you feel
I m a bitch
When I make out with your friend
I m a bitch
And I like how I feel
I m a bitch
But at least I m no whore

I m a bitch
When I ruin your game
I m a bitch
Cos I lied to your face
I m a bitch
cos I’ve forgotten your name

I m a bitch
To your mother
I m a bitch
To your sister
I m a bitch
To your brother
But I aint a bitch
to your daddy

So sing it to me
Like you used to
B-I-T-C-H !
Hey!

What lies beneath a six star hangover..

2009-10-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Version Z

It’s like that black eyed pea’s song! “Tonight’s gonna be a good night”.
I kept singing that over and over in my head. Today was the day of our carefully planned ladies night. I can’t believe we finally made time for this.
It’s going to be awesome! I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress was just great! Thank sweet baby Jesus I wore a dress tonight because everyone else was in jeans.
Oh wait.. looks like R is also in a dress.
Oh cow dung!!
Hmm.. it doesn’t matter. As long as tonight’s gonna be a good night.

We were staying over at N’s place. We always stay over at someone’s place after a night out. Makes it easy to transport the disabled drunkards. hahah!

We cramped ourselves into a cab and headed off to Inn on the Green.
Had the usual fish and chips and then had a round of tequila. The clinking of shot glasses made my head buzz with excitement.
Then came the Bacardi.
Once that was done we whizzed off to the new club at Galadari.
N knew someone at the club so we got a table.
And then the drinks came.
S and R were dancing all night and I smiled to myself thinking “they all look so happy .. and drunk”
We took a couple of pictures. At least I remember posing for them.
Then they played our favorite song and we all danced , screaming. That’s when I noticed R flirting with some guy and N picking a fight with a stranger.
S was talking to her boyfriend G , who turned up at our ladies night.
Why do boys do that?
I speed dialed biz. He should be able to keep me company til-
I checked my watch.
- Oh well what do you know.. its 3.30 am already.
I cut off the line. He couldn’t hear me anyway. It was way too noisy in here.

I watched R and N wobble their way out of the club. I think they mentioned something about the ladies room.
“oh.. ok” I mouthed.
After a few minutes ( I swear to god it only seemed like 10 minutes ) the guy R was flirting with came back and was trying to say something.
Apparently the girls were in the ladies room for way too long.
I went to the ladies room and noticed that one cubicle was occupied.
R was out grooming herself, so obviously N was inside.
“she’s in right?” I asked finger combing my hair looking at R’s reflection in the wide glass mirror.
“Yeah” she drawled.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it?”
R turned to look at me.
“N!” we both cried in unison.
“you ok?”
We heard a gurgle and some blabs.
“is.. she puking?” R asked.
“N.. are you ok?” I asked again.
“I just puked.. all over my new jeans. its ruined.. I can’t go home like this.”
R and I exchanged looks.
“It’s ok “ I sighed . “We’ll wash your jeans ok.. just come out”
What a drama queen I thought wearily.
Then there was an awkward silence.
“do you wanna take a bathroom pic?” R asked smiling.
The next thing I knew I was posing for pics with R , giggling.
Then two girls walked in.
And that’s when we heard a “thud”
“N “we both screamed again as the two girls stared at us in surprise.
We kept pounding on the door, but no response.
“my friend.. she’s inside the loo and she won’t open the door” I panicked.
One girl was bold enough to climb through the cubicle to N’s cubicle and unlock the door.
And then what I saw will scar me for the rest of my life.
N with her pants down on the floor.. next to a pool of vomit.
There were stains all over her. She was damn right about her jeans.
It was disgusting.
R was too shocked to say anything, she was wobbling around.

“Too many tequilas?” one girl questioned.
I nodded.

“That explains it”

We pulled up her jeans and carried her out , to the hotel lobby.
Damn this girl was heavy.
Then she puked all over the couch.. and on the floor. S walked right in to the scene and started throwing up.
What is with all the puking?

“Let’s just go home” R wailed. None of us could carry N ,so S’s boyfriend lifted her up.
And her jeans slithered down causing a stir at the hotel lobby.
Right at that moment I just wanted to die.
I quickly pulled them up and covered her exposed buttocks.
“Let’s move!” I was practically screaming.
Once we got into the cab I was so relived and thankful that we were on our way home.
But the night wasn’t over yet. even though the day had just begun.. or whatever.
That was just the drunk in me talking.
N starts to choke.. (on her own puke) and turns over to me and throws up on my arm.
I screamed so loud I swear the whole world stopped spinning for a second.
My designer dress.
Ruined.
We opened the car door and let her throw up, but she passed out again.
As we were about to leave, R begins to puke. And we took a whole ten years to get over it.

I was so tired of cleaning up the puke off me, and just as we thought we are home sweet home we get pulled over by cops.
We took out our ID’s to pass out to the cops and guess who pukes all over the cop stand?
S.
The cops are so grossed out , they ask us to leave.
So we hopped back in and drove away.. in fear.
What are we gonna tell N’s parents?!
As the final destination approached we conjured up a whacky story that N had one glass of Vodka for the first time and passed out.
Right.
Oh and her parents knew we were shitting.
With her dad shouting at us being drunk at 5am, recognizing the signs I assumed.
“ are you sure , she’s not dead?” grandma panicked.
“y-yes” I managed to stammer.
N’s mum tried the whole lime thing , but that only made her puke some more.
Once she passed out again, we all had a nice wash and hit the bed.
.. and that’s when I knocked out.

The Power Cut

2009-10-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

I woke up to a bunch of awful snores last night also to discover that my body was dripping with sweat.
It was the beginning of a long night.
I really don’t know how some people could sleep through it because the whole house was vibrating with all kinds of noisy snoring.
I fanned myself with some wafer thin paper I found on the bed and logged on to Face book to find out if anyone else was sharing my misery.

Of course a few bloggers had complained of their sleepless nights and updated their statuses making it easier to keep myself entertained through the night,
Ahamed had a problem with eating a chocolate choc chip, chocolate ripple and chocolate biscuit pudding in a mug. In the dark.
I feel for you Ahamed. Such a delicious treat should be eaten while you can also enjoy looking at it. Eating the damned thing ,blindly is a curse.

My cousin complained of putting make up on, in the dark while getting ready for a flight. I cannot imagine the frustration she would have been going through.
And then after taking ages to perfect the make up, the flight gets cancelled. The life of a stewardess is just awful with no electricity on.

What is this world coming to? Tsk tsk

ANYWAYS.. I hope the power is back on in most areas. I didn’t even iron my office uniform and came to work looking like I’d slept in last night’s clothes.
Who gives a shit anyway. If my boss wants to complain.. let her! She sure loves to bitch about things that don’t make much sense anyway!

Did I tell you about the time she got all peeved about a man who groped her while talking to her? Well, she groped the exact same man when he came to see her yesterday.
Haven’t you heard that Frustration in your late forty’s is a common thing that occurs in women who are single?

Denial isn’t going to get you anywhere , you old hag.

Oh well, I just wanted to bitch a bit about that as well.
Have a nice day you’ll!
xoxo

Bloggers I have met !

2009-10-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by st.fallen to mention the bloggers I have met ! This may surprise you guys.. but Jerry was the first blogger I met.
I think this was about two years ago at some awkward forum meet up . He was very quiet and didn’t say much.. but then again so was I. Its hard to evaluate people with all the silence. ...

And he was a bit skinny back then as well. Now he is just a balloon waiting to pop. Just kidding.
Jerry is a complete stud.

The second blogger I met was st.fallen. we started communicating to each other through our respective blogs, constantly commenting on each other’s posts, chatting on msn, etc.
Then when I finally met him, he was just a little boy full of energy ... and creative ideas waiting to pop out. He is like the brother I never had and always wanted. Talented , straightforward and very intelligent.
There were times he sang to me, read me scripts off the holy Quran , just to help me to deal with the dark times. I love you kiddo. You helped me get through some pretty dark times by being there for me when I had no one.

The next blogger I met was papare boy! He was a sweet thing who helped me get some DVDs I 've been wanting to purchase for a while. I was pretty nervous about meeting papare boy and I had been putting off the meeting for weeks, but then when we finally did meet ( at some bookfair) and it wasn’t so awkward as I had expected it to be. Except for the time we said our goodbyes and I messed up the whole hand gesture thing.

The last blogger I met was , someone whom I have gotten to know so much by just reading her beautiful blog. And the meeting was spontaneous and unplanned! My cousin asked me if I wanted to go on a trip with her friends and I had agreed. And guess who turned up ? Lady D!

I couldn’t help looking at her and thinking.. hmm.. I know her!! But then lady D bonked me over my confused head and said “ yo? Its me home girl! Your lady D”
AND then we hit it off from there even though the food really really.. really sucked at the hotel we stayed at.

But I did get to share a drink with her and it was good. We should chill more often lady D!

I gotta say all you bloggers are just awesome. And I enjoy reading your blogs very much. I have to really thank ST.FALLEN for tagging me and helping me to re kindle the memories .

Love you guys
xoxo

Heroes season 5

2009-10-04T06:55:00.001-07:00

.. I really don't know why I watch heroes anymore. I mean why does every single person have a "special ability"? ..

and yes I had nothing to write about .. so I came up with this one liner.

LAME!!!

I know!! now shoot me.

My Spine...

2009-08-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

.... hurts

Guess who..

2009-07-04T07:08:00.001-07:00

...I am?

I am a natural brunette but I prefer to be blond.

I wear drag queenish make up.

I am also rumoured to be a whore because I like fucking older men.

I have an ( really X 25 ) annoying accent when I speak in Sinhalese.

So who am I?

a short story about a confused wiggly woo

2009-06-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

I was about 15 when they asked me what I wanted to do with my future.
I thought for a little while and replied ‘ I want to be a director’

My uncle was astounded, ( he being a bank manager and all) patted my back and said ‘ very good answer child. Very ambitious, I see. A company director is a very big goal you need to achieve’

I could see my mother’s face from the corner of my eye. Boy did she look confused.

"No.." I said suddenly. "I want to be a movie director."

There was an awkward silence.

And then the chaos started.

THE END

Munchies in my drawer!

2009-05-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

I have some stale munchies in my drawer
It’s been in there for quite a while
Its smells funny when Its open
And there’s crumbs around the floor too

Its wrapped in a bag to keep away creepy crawlies
And I m not talking about my friendly colleagues
I’ve seen them take a peek at my white bag
My white bag full of stale munchies !

After lunch I shall take this out
And offer a snack with no doubt
Yummy stale munchies ..
Oh ! come on. .they don’t know that! ;)

The padashow – where is that unbearable stench coming from? Oh wait it’s that troll who farts a lot. He is stalking you again.

2009-05-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

Podipada is an attention seeking psychopath who wants almost every blogger to kill themselves to deprive the blogosphere from lame self absorbent posts.
Well here is some advice for you.
Why don’t you slit your pretty wrists and do us a favor? because we are sick of your whining too! you sound like a middle aged whore on menopause.
Or if your too busy jerking yourself maybe we could slit your wrists for you?

You could bleed to death while satisfying yourself.

What say you? =)

Hobbit remains found in Indonesia

2009-05-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

About this sexy tag cloud ..

2009-04-30T03:34:00.000-07:00

Ok ..I have to admit that I’m not tech savvy.
I need help with this sexy tag cloud thingy.

Please forward your comments on how to fix this thing.
Please!

Not your cup of tea? Too fucking bad!

2009-03-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when the older generation advices the young, it makes me wonder why the fuck values were created in a way that it always benefits the male generation in the end.

My aunt was over at my place recently ranting about how imbecile, women are when they can’t treat their husband’s right and how unethical it is for a woman to ignore her duties as a wife even though she may be a working woman with a demanding job.
She kept blaming a woman’s failure as a wife for so many failed marriages.

What The Fuck??

Why should it always be the poor wife? I mean what more do you want? Women practically worship their man by taking over his mother’s job anyway.

There was one stupid incident she mentioned about some doctor who couldn’t maker her husband a cup of tea and then he divorced her.

Doesn’t it make you vomit last night’s dinner when you think about coming home tired from work to finish off household chores?
And then your husband expects a hot cup of god damned tea on the top of that?
Well you know what? Make your own god damned tea.

If you expect women to come home and make you tea just because you’re some mama’s boy.. You’ve got it all wrong!
Haven’t we all been raised as mama’s princess/daddy's girl all our lives too? Didn’t our mothers make us tea and food and what not till we got married? So why should we be treated any less? I mean we want someone to look after us too right? So in the end we end up looking after the one, who is supposed to look after us.

If at all I think they should be the ones making us tea when we get home.
That is if they complain. Some men don’t really complain. They make their own tea.
That doesn’t mean their gay you stupid bastards!
Hey at least the gays are capable of doing their own shit. Instead of waiting til some woman picks up after him.

So now you stupid fuck ups know what to do right? Treat your woman right. She aint gonna make you tea sweetheart. Make your own god damn it!

Assholes and other things.

2009-03-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

Life is so mundane.

I walk from my office to my transport wishing that i don't have to come back to work again.

I walk slowly usually ignoring everyone around me. I don't want to meet anyone I know. Maybe cos i don't give a flying shit or want to make any small talk.

I stopped at the yellow crossing and heard some comments about my second hand bag. comments made by some boy.
I walked ahead of him.
Then he got run over by a van and his body was broken is three places.

do you like my bag now asshole?

but of course.. that happened only in my head.
I'm not sadistic. I'm not.

Politics and Photoshop

2009-02-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

Makes you wonder if R.Duminda's posters are real.

not the ones with Mr. President. the ones with the old lady and that tiny baby.

The Dark Cell I call Home.

2009-01-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

(Based on a true incident)

October 14

Things are changing again.. I can feel it.

Had a bit of coke yesterday.. if I don’t get Hasitha’s cash I cant buy more.

Fuck Hasitha and his stupid wife.

I hope they both rot.

I need that cash soon

And that reminds me.. I have a fucking deadline at work..

October 20^th

Hasitha won’t return the stash he owes me. That son of a bitch.

I need some hash now..

I want to feel it gush through my veins. Its calms my nerves and it calms my soul.

I used an old prescription to get some corex D. for now it’ll do.. and plus it heals my dry throat.

It stops the burning sensation in my chest.

Mum’s calling me. Think dinner is ready.

My head is spinning after what my boss told me today.

Perform or leave.

Fuck him! Sits on his old ass the whole day ordering everyone around.

October 24^th

Things are getting worse.. Hasitha is missing. I had to borrow money from mum to get to Susitha’s place.

I know he has a few hash left.

The motherfucker asked me to leave when I got there. I don’t know how susitha can do this to me. I let him use my name to get to a dealer.

I had to walk all the way back home. Disappointed.

It was pretty late when i was coming back home.. and I felt like someone was following me.

I felt chills down my spine walking all the way back..

Its 3.00 a.m now but I still cant sleep. I can hear voices.. what do they want from me?

October 30^th

Situation at work is getting worse. I really need to get away. I don’t have my stash. I don’t have money.

I don’t have my story ready. I’m losing it all. I m out of Corex D.

I better use some of mum’s money. Maybe she won’t notice a few hundred’s missing.

November 03^rd

Mum knows. She knew I have been taking corex D all along. Now she wants me to get help.

She saw my old scars.

She thinks I ve changed.

If only she knows.

November 10^th

She tried to send me away. I won’t go. This is my home. My asylum

November 12^th

I am shivering with pain. My life is over. I will not see this note book full of memoirs for a while.

The vehicle is here. I cannot escape. But when I am back I will read this over and over again.

ok.. so christmas is over.. now what?

2008-12-27T07:45:00.000-08:00

I dunno about you guys but i was really looking forward to christmas this year.. and its already freaking over.
I hope that many of you took some of my shitty advice from last year's post and had a merry christmas.

after christmas i guess the new year is something to look forward to. or maybe not. doesnt the new year come with fake resolutions that you can never acomplish?

anyways hope all you bloggers have a blast this new years eve at CNL or at the MTV party or where ever the hell you are
=D

Have I ever..

2008-11-22T19:28:00.000-08:00

Punched a boy in his chest causing him to fall down a concrete slab and injure his ankle?

Been high out of my wits at home on my birthday and then got so depressed I wanted to kill myself?

Taken friends out for lunch pigged out till our hearts content and then not able to pay the bill?

Asked a guy out just to get rejected politely?

Made the first move on the first date?

Travelled home barefoot after losing a shoe while getting into a bus?

Fallen in love with my best friend only to realize that he was cheating on me all along?

Found the perfect guy and got dumped twice?

Done it while on the phone with my mum?**

Been forced to consume alcohol by my own boss?

Been suggested to get drunk at a family lunch by an uncle?

Fantasized about a stranger?

Made out with a stranger?

Gone out shopping for a gift and ended up buying 4 pairs of shoes for myself?

** was around when it happened to someone else though . .=D

WELL I TOLD you I WAS BORING =D

thanks for taggin me whackster. you made me reveal my boring ass.

Why I hate the JONAS brothers

2008-11-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Man I really hate those teenage promise ring wearing man whores!
They are actually out whoring miley cyrus right now.
I mean come on.. their songs SUCK. Who likes listening to nasal voiced teenagers’ anw?

I mean i reallly dont know what Miley, Taylor Swift or Camille Belle saw in these kids cos they really cant sing .

and whats with that hair style?? i thought the one in the middle (in the image below) was a girl for crying out loud.

I hope you'll like the image. hehe

suckers

Wishing sinful things..

2008-10-31T19:36:00.000-07:00

I work in the heart of Colombo. Yeah that’s what I’d like to call it anyways.
My office is located on the tallest building in Colombo. ( hint hint)
So I’m sure you guys know that it’s full of babes and hot things.
I’m serious. This place is a walking super model zone.
The women are just so freaking hot it’s scary. I wish I could say the same thing about the men here.. but well there is only a hand full worth drooling over. And they don’t work here.
Every day during lunch time the babes come out to play. Or rather buy lunch.
Since I had a bad habit of babe watching (and accidently spilling a glass of water myself once in the process) my boss fixed a sand plastered glass pane to my desk practically cutting my view of – well everything.
No more cursing the girl in trendy outfits and the hot shoes.
Hey don’t call me a bitch for cursing her. My colleague started it.
No more drooling over that guy who gets lunch from the coffee shop next door ,who always manages to smile at me.
Except that no one knows about my secret crush on him .
Thank god. He looks married anyway.
Come to think of it.. the glass was fixed after some psycho pervert walked in and asked if where I worked was a massage parlor.
Okay. I don’t know if I look like I work for a massage parlor or something but that really pissed me off.
Gah!
Getting back to the subject .. sometimes I wish that miss hot shoes trips on them and falls flat on her face! Or wait.. what could be worse?.. she could put on weight and never be able to fit into those shoes.
Muhahaha.. =(

I seriously have to let go of my sinful wishes. =(
I am a sick person.. I need to be locked up.
It’s the stress at work that’s making me wish mean things happen to good people.
I am a nice person. I swear!
xD

Retarded men and other things

2008-10-28T04:21:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I have updated my blog. In my absence I have been too stressed out to notice things like stupidity, sex and beautiful men.
Which is pretty much the usual things I notice .. but you know how works gets to you right?
I have had with stupid bitches and retarded men.
No seriously.
Let me give you a “stupid bitch” example I had to tolerate recently.

Miss x- oh hey! Have you finished the final corporate marketing plan for next year?
Me – erm.. no? I thought you were assigned to do it.
Miss x- oh yeah.. I forgot.. its just that I have been so busy!
I peer onto her screen and check what she has been busy working on.
Only to find that she had been busy shopping online.
Me- oh so you’ve been really busy huh ( in a sarcastic tone)
Miss x- yeah ( blonde Barbie doll voice )
Me- oh. So yeah I guess you should finish the marketing plan soon.
Miss x- but I can’t do this all by myself ( wails)
Me- so go fuck yourself
Miss x- sorry?
Me – yeah sure I can help you with it.

See. I have a problem .. I can’t say NO to people. I just can’t . What the fuck is wrong with me.

I can tolerate stupid bitches.. but I certainly can’t stand retarded men.
Why do they even exist? Why can’t the plague kill them or something..
Here’s a recent convo I had with a retarded male

Mr. Retarded 1 – hey I read news now
Me- yeah? That’s great I haven’t heard you on air tho
Mr. R1 – YEAH .. I’m on from 3 -8
Me- super.
Mr R1- that’s 3, 4,5,6,7,8,
Me – erm.. ok
Mr R1 – yeah in case you didn’t get that
Me- right.

And he thinks I’m slow? Fuck off!

Walking Dead

2008-10-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am white
I am black
I am blue
I am yellow
I can be all the colors in the world
Anything you want
But you don’t see me
You don’t want me
You can’t hear me
You don’t want me
I can’t please you
I don’t want to leave you
Why can’t you hold me ,
When I need you?
If you cried I would wipe your tears
Wipe them all dry
But you ignore me
You don’t see me
You don’t want me
I can’t be your friend
I can’t be your daughter
I can’t be your sister
I can’t be your mother
I can’t be the one you love
The one you want so much
Because you don’t see me
The way I see you

BUSY

2008-10-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

I really need a break. my weekends are packed with all kinds of annoying classes which is making me spend less time at home.
spending time at home is not a bad thing. sometimes i just miss chilling at home with good music on and maybe even a good movie.
fuck this post i got work to do

Confessions of a shopaholic - Part One

2008-09-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

Oh my god!! My credit card bill just arrived! And it’s HUGE. It’s got sooo many NUMBERS.
All jumbled up.
There are items on the list I can’t remember purchasing. There are names of stores I can’t remember going into.
What am I going to do??
I already thought of faking my own death and eloping.. but I am so broke I can’t work that plan out either.
I can’t take a loan cos the freaking bank won’t lend me money cos I already owe them like.. so much already.
I can’t ask my parents any cash either, they’ll only call me weak and mis- managed and then ask me to get married.
I don’t think I can actually use that option because I am too broke to get married.
That leaves me all out.
All out of options.
This cannot be happening!! I am beautiful. Single, independent and I have a wardrobe to die for.
Is it possible to just be so freaking broke?
Wait there has to be a way I can stop this madness. .
The little evil voice in my head just suggested the most grotesque thing.
To avoid shopping for a while.
I think I should shoot the little voice in my head! Where does all this garbage come from??
I would rather choose .. death than NOT shop.. I mean come on.. who can resist sales? And beautiful new jeans by DKNY? I have my eyes set on a new pair of Charles and Keith heels too.
There is no freaking way I am going to forget shopping. Even if it’s for a while.
Let me just open last month’s statement again.
Woah!!..
Why do I keep seeing Dilly’s and Mondy over and over again?
And why did I have to buy that *#%^@*^ (yet sexy) waistcoat in 3 different colors?
I could have bought material and gotten them stitched like my cousin did.
Its sooo much more economical.
According to that old bat anyway.
And the make up! I simply love the new L’Oreal lip gloss and the new MAC flawless powder. Not to mention the awesome new Bobbi Brown bronzing pearls.
You should see the girls at work. They glance enviously at my make up bag everyday. Which is Givenchy by the way.
Sometimes travelling abroad on business trips has its advantages. Sure you have to attend boring business presentations and meetings .. but then once it’s all done YOU know you have time to shop til you drop.
That’s how I managed to collect most of my designer stuff.
Ahh.. the privileges of having a credit card.
Or maybe not.
The figures on my statement are just atrocious. I must speak to my bank and ask them why there is such a high interest rate .
It’s really sick how banks just charge us with interest just because we failed to pay a few months’ bills.
Sick is far too nice to describe it, don’t you think?
All this talk about banks and high interest rates are depressing me. I must get out of this place now.
Think I need a dose of Odel.

My Sex Life and other related stories

2008-09-08T02:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone's doing it.
Everyon's talking about it.
Everyone's writing about it.

Now that I’ve got your attention I just want to let you all know that there is absolutely nothing sexual about this post.

have a good day folks.

=D

Jane's Addiction

2008-08-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

My name is Jane. And I am addicted to a certain male whom I have known since I was 14. The last time I saw him was at his farewell, just before he jetted off to college.
And how he is back.!!!
And I know he wants me too.
It’s now or never.
I have to make my move, without making it obvious that I am making any moves.. and how is that possible? I don’t know!! Why do I feel 14 all over again?..
***********************************************************************
At first I didn’t know what to do.
Part of me wanted to throw my arms around him and give a passionate kiss. The other part of me wanted.. to do the same.
I walked up to him. I was glad I could read his eyes.
His eyes said it all.
“I missed you” I said softly.
He smiled and gave me a “come get me” look
I didn’t budge.
Move idiot! My mind screamed.
Damn it!
I just froze.
He was waiting.
I was frozen.
I think after about 3 hours later, he moved closer and gave me a very awkward hug.
I think I might be paralyzed or something, because I still couldn’t move.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Would you just look at the way he walks?
Man!! Would I like to get a hold of that hunk or what?
He’s toying with me I realized.
I walked outside and waited for him to pass by.
About 15 minutes later when he finally did, I was giggling like a teen.. Which I hid in a very adult way.
“Hey” he said.
I almost fainted.
“Hey” I tried to sound sexy but failed.
“Do you want to go for a smoke?’’ he asked huskily
“You know I don’t smoke” I answered.
Even though I was dying to do anything to be with him..
He shrugged and walked over to the corner, and lit a cigarette.
He’s a heavy smoker. I have seen him. You mean observed. I corrected myself.
I walked over.
He leaned closer
I looked up at him.
Our lips almost brushed.
“I don’t kiss smokers” I said
God!! I sounded so bitchy.
With that I turned and walked away.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The club was packed that night. I’m definitely going to get caught in a stampede and die.
I squeezed my way out of the dance floor to a quiet corner.
That’s when I saw him.
“You’re a great dancer” he said
“Thanks” I replied
I really couldn’t hear him but I kind of figured that he said something about my dancing.
I signaled him to walk out with me.
Surprisingly, he did.
He’s hot... I though breathlessly.
He looked at me with those come get me eyes AGAIN.
“Remember I said I don’t kiss smokers?” I asked.
“Yeah” he said confused.
“I lied.”
Next thing you know I am waking up next to him – NOT
But we did kiss.
And it felt good.

The Break- up..

2008-08-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Day one

Last night was so emotionally stressful for me. I stayed up the entire night texting the retarded boyfriend reminding him of all the good times we had together and to forget the fact that we don’t spend enough time together anymore because of our busy work schedule. I even mentioned a few monica/ chandler moments on friends.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? Am I fucking retarded?? It’s physically impossible to kick myself or else I would have right now.
Instead of telling this bastard to kill himself, I was reminding him of the good times we had.
I mean come on? Let’s be honest here.. he was being a jack ass and I kept forgiving him for it?
Whatever the fuck for??
When I can just ask him to go fuck himself instead?
Once he’s done fucking himself ,he is going to come back and ask forgiveness. And then I shall win. Muhahahhahahaha

Day two

Ok my email( haha! sounds familiar?) about breaking up clearly didn’t make any sense to him. He wants to know how long it’s going to last.
Oh my god. He is retarded. I dated a total retard. For 18 months.
And then he keeps texting me. Whining about his busy day at work.
Who the fuck cares? I put up with it for 18 months.. I don’t care anymore.
So just go shit in a corner or something. I am not your therapist!!
And besides now I am free to play with anything I want. Teehee

Day three

So far so good. I can’t believe I am totally over it.
=D

Day four

ok .. things were fine til day four. . I fell ill(yeah go figure why bad things keep happening to you when you're dealing with a break up??!)

I fell realllly sick. and I wanted a hug. I wanted HIM to hug me. I've never ever felt this lame before ( apart from the time i was tricked to go onstage at some crazy stage play and then insulted by the actors ONSTAGE IN FRONT OF 1000s only to find that i was an unsuspecting sucker thrown into the skit to make it look funny..)

oh boo hoo all over again..

Day five

we made up. he said he wants to make it work. and so do I. because deep down i am a sucker and i love him to silly bits.

gosh I'm such a fuck up sometimes i could just kill myself.

get over it !!

MONTHLY UPDATE??

2008-07-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is my official monthly update.
I have been busy!! yes finally!! my lazy ass is busy..
well If I have been so fucking busy and stressed out of my stupid ass .. how come i didnt lose any weight? .. arghhh!
anyways, my childhood friend got married a few days ago. she looked an angel..
thats about it for now.
oh and right now I am craving for some battered fried prawns..

BURNING FLAMES

2008-06-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

I took the pills to my room and hid it carefully in a drawer. I didn’t want them to find it.
Not mom.
Not dad.
Not anyone.
Tonight is the night. I reminded myself.
Tonight is the night I get to be with the one I truly love. The one who truly cares for me.
I may only be a 14 year old boy, but I am already in love with something beautiful.
When I took the pills I was advised what to do.
Where to place it.
How to place it.
I was also given a can of kerosene oil.
For later.
I almost chuckled out loud at the thought of completing the job perfectly.
Just a matter of a few hours. I thought
Just a few more.
I made my way down to the kitchen to find my mother making dinner.
Pol sambol again.
How sad.
How sad of her to prepare her favorite little dish..
Just a matter of a few hours my mind sang.
She turned to look at me.
“What are you doing?” She asked while she started clearing up.
Mom was a mess tonight.
Mom is always a mess.
“Nothing. I’ll clean up. You go watch nangi.” I said flatly.
She paused.
Just then she looked so old.
So worn out.
So tired.
Her years of silent suffering I thought to myself as I saw a hint of thankfulness gleam in her sad eyes.
It almost made me regret my decision.
I grabbed the pots from her hand and started washing it.
She kept staring at me from the back.
I could feel it.
When I turned back she was gone.
I washed the pans silently and kept them aside.
It is time. I realized
I walked towards the hall.
Dad was still out.
Mom was getting ready to give nangi a bath.
I checked on malli. He was painting a children’s color book.
How innocent I thought.
I walked into my room and pulled out the pills from its sanctuary.
I didn’t really know what the name was but I was told it will be very effective.
I chucked it in my pocket and walked back towards the kitchen.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Dad had bought bread.
Quite obvious with the pol sambol.
It didn’t matter anyways
They all ate quietly.
Dad was unusually quiet. I was surprised that he wasn’t his usual drunk self.
“How was school” he muttered
“K” I replied flatly.
Those were the only words that came out of my father when we had a decent conversation.
He never approved of anything I did. Nor did he approve of me spending time with my true love.
I despised him for that.
It’s all going to be over today I thought silently.
All over.
Tonight.
Things happened so quickly.
Mom complained of a headache and rushed to bed. Dad followed and so did malli.
Malli slept with me, while nangi slept with the parents.
Nangi was just 2 years old. I remember her second birthday 3 months ago. She looked like a little princess.
I watched malli drowsily drop into bed.
For an 8 year old, he was small made. He’d probably never grow taller than 5’5.
But still he looked innocent.
I watched him fall asleep and moved onto my parents’ room.
They were out cold.
I smiled.
Just one more step to complete the task. And then my true love and I could be together.
Forever and ever.
I opened the kerosene bottle and started splashing it inside the rooms and finally drenching the hall couch with it.
I crept outside the house, so the neighbors won’t get suspicious and wonder what I’m doing outside at 11.30 p.m
I waited outside as planned.
The final task is almost complete.
I tossed the empty bottle into a bush close by.
“Is it done?” the whispering voice behind asked startling me.
It was him.
“Yes” I replied giddily.
He lit a match.
“Let’s do it” he said.
We walked in and dropped the match in my parent’s room.
Just then I saw my mother’s eyes flicker.
She was up.
The flames shot up to the bed catching everything on fire.
We both walked outside and moved away from the burning house.
It was over now.
I felt him hold my hand and squeeze it gently.
We can start a new life now.
Together.

** This story is based on actual facts.

CHICKEN SOUP

2008-06-10T04:22:00.000-07:00

I have just completed reading the most depressing book ever.
And it’s called Chicken Soup for the teenage soul.
It’s a load of depressing stories on suicide, death, eating disorders, depression, family issues and abuse.
It’s not like it’s something we have not been through.
It’s something we have all been through.
But reading real life stories about these people made me realize that I should value life and make a better life, worth living in this world.
But I don’t feel like that.
I feel depressed.
And suicidal.
I felt like puking at the sight of food.
I wanted to starve myself and get sick.
It reminded of the times when I went through hell and I didn’t need counseling or therapy or even rehab.
It reminded me that I had god to help me.
I feel bad for people who got sick just of to the blue and then suffered through their short life.
I feel sorry for the people who lost all the loved ones they cared so much about.
I feel sad when I think of how those kids could have prevented something bad happening but gave in cos they too fucking stupid.
Ok maybe I didn’t feel sad for those fuckwits.
They had it coming.
Or maybe not.
It’s over now. Lets all move on.
But after I got through reading the book, I thought I should contribute a sob story as well.
And I decided to write about a dear friend I knew in school. And her name is Annie.

Annie

When I first met Annie she struck to me as a playful, naughty girl with lovely curly hair. That was over 17 years ago. We became instant friends, stuck out together through out primary school and always got into playful fights and mischief.
Then when we entered junior school things started to change. We grew up, and had different interests. One of them being boys.
As we grew up Annie’s personality shot out. She was confident and smart. She had no trouble getting boys to notice her. Her striking good looks and her hour glass figure was amazing.
As teenagers, most girls gossip about boys and dating them. I guess that’s what came in-between our friendship.
One thing led to another and we drifted apart.
When senior year approached I switched to another school. I missed my friends dearly and always thought about the good times I had back in the old school.
But I managed to fit in at the new school and things went on well till I graduated.
After I graduated school I found a job that helped me pursue my college studies. I got busy with work forgot about everything else.
I was so busy I didn’t have time to spend with anyone. Not even my family.
Then one day I heard about Annie.
She had gotten herself pregnant during her senior year and was now married, with a little baby girl.
I was shocked and sad at the same time.
I just wished that I could have been there for her so that I could have helped get through the difficult times.
I visited her and sat myself down to hear her plight. She was in pain. Stuck in a dead marriage with no support from her unemployed husband.
I watched her fight back tears as she told me how unhappy she really was.
I wanted to hug her and tell her she was going to be ok.
But I didn’t.
She was still the same strong, bold Annie.
Fighting back tears. Holding on to something she can’t let go.
And I loved her for that.
I had to help her. So I found a job which helped her financially to support the family since her husband was unemployed.
She was happy that she was finally able to give her baby girl a good life.
I was happy to see Annie back to her happy cheerful self again.
It didn’t last long.
Her husband couldn’t stand the fact that she was the bread winner. He started abusing her and asking her stop working.
Everyday at work, she would be traumatized by his phone calls threatening to come drag her out of office.
She had no choice but to leave him.
Now she’s a single mother struggling to make something out of her life.
And I am proud that she is the same strong girl, but now a woman.

Tagged with a smile?..

2008-05-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by the prince of darkness ,st fallen and the beautiful Restless ecstasy to jot down ten random things that make my face twitch.

1.My boyfriend. He is my best friend and he can cook.

2.My family. Even though they can be a pain sometimes knowing that they ll always be there for me no matter what makes me .. smile.

3.My friends. I don’t have many but there are some who I have met in a short period and have won me over with their witty attitude. This also includes girl's nights out / coffee and` bitching about life' sessions/driving around aimlessly etc

4.Shoes and shopping. I don’t have to say more on these now do I?

5.Good looking men. For some reason they make me smile too. Teehee

6.Music. Anything which can make me forget a bad day.

7.Movies/TV. I love love love watching movies. SOMEDAY I will be couch potato. That’s my goal.

8.Flowers. They make everyone smile.

9.Children. Their silly behavior makes my face twitch.

10.Pets. . like cats and dogs. Makes me want to hug them tight and squeeze them.

I didn’t think I had ten things that actually made me this happy. . but I guess I was wrong.
so now I would like to tag
fading memories
The lost soul
Words of Amaruwan
Serpent's Lounge

KEEP SMILING PEOPLE!
-_-

Totally Random!

2008-05-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

Here I am writing my first totally random post.
Yay.
Ok getting back to my normal shit.. I have to sadly mention/admit that I was horribly outbitched by some fat old hags AT WORK..
It was the worst feeling ever.
SO I LEFT.
I am so not used to being head butted by bitches cos most of them usually bite my ass instead. So this time they were in MY FACE..
Poking me.
That was 2 weeks ago.

Things changed in two weeks. I am back to the place which inspired me to create the dark asylum. Or rather .. which made me go through the dark times in my life.
The dark times.
Seems so distant now.
Its not that I m a perky flamboyant person now anyways.
Whatever.

I just read that Mariah Carey married a guy she met while making a music video to a song she released about 3 months ago.
Whoa.

Well, I am back at my boring cubicle waiting for something exciting to happen. And I hope it happens .. like right now.
Maybe the hot babe who just walked past my office would walk in .. and ask me details about the company I work for.. and then I tell him I am alone. And we go out for coffee.
And then my boss walks in.

Whoa.
Scary thought.

I could really really use a nice cup of steaming coffee right now.
With a coffee shop right next to office it’s not really helping me either.
Why do I have to be fucking broke always?
Then again who isn’t?

Maybe if I walk across and start up a conversation with the counter guys, they would give me a cup on the house.

I should seriously stop day dreaming about coffee.

Whoa!!
I almost spilt my glass of water down myself checking out a well dressed male – probably in his mid 20’s.
And he just walked in.
Gak!
He is asking me something about the company but I am typing on my post faking like I am looking for information about his request.
He is not as good looking up close.
Ew.

I think I’ll have to continue this post later. He is being a pain..

UGLY UNIFORMS, HORRIBLE RAIN AND A SMART ASS MOUSE.

2008-04-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

In my absence from the world of bloggin I have been juggling a new job with an ugly uniform, battling with a freaking mouse in the kitchen and getting soaked in the rain almost every evening.
I have also been deprived of internet access which means that I will not be able to blog and bitch often about shitty lil things that piss me off.
How unfair.
Life is such a bastard.
It keeps poking my ass over and over and over .. again.
Right now I am typing this on my phone so that I could upload this later. If your reading this now I probably wrote this ages ago and I am typing my new post.
Has anything excited happened to me this week? Hmm let me see..( as I glance outside my transport window I see dark clouds.. and crowded bus halts. Anyways getting back to the exciting part of my life since my last post)… is that the lead actor from breaking bars added me as a friend on a face book ( yay! Now I can cast him lead In my next musical),
I finally made my first meal ( so what if it was mac and cheese?),
I am learning to let go of my addiction to using internet in office ( simply because I don’t have it in office anymore)…
.. and finally.. I manage to fall asleep a lot. Which is a good thing because I used to be an insomniac.
I also think I should squeeze everything into one post since I won’t be able to blog often, so I am going to write a review on a book I read and a movie I watched. But then no one would read this post from this point onwards.. so you might as well stop reading now cos there is pretty much nothing to read anyways. ……………………..
So it’s adios to you all till my next post.
Ps- happy new year.

The Dark Asylum.. aint that dark anymore!

2008-03-18T01:17:00.000-07:00

Was told by a reader that my blog is.. well.. not that dark anymore.
AND was told off by the Jester.. that I don't look Goth enough to have a blog called the dark asylum. ( was that a slap in the face or what..)
so I decided to change the name to something less dramatic.
Everyone's welcome to diss , piss and hiss .

My Dave Grohl dream ( part 2)..

2008-03-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

omg.
..............................
.......................
................
it happened. he fricking grew a dave grohl. .
crazyy!! maybe he read my post? does he even know I blog?
.. SO .. if you're reading this.. can you play the drums like dave grohl too? and sing like cory taylor or james maynard?
NO? =(

PMS?

2008-03-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

“Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (historically called PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.” – wikipedia

I am sure all women can relate to this definition. And I wanted to bitch about it because I am going through it right now.
So it begins.
The depression, aggression, stress/anxiety, acne (ugh those frickin’ %@^&&&!!), and god forbid.. the damned abdominal cramps.

Can you blame us for higher intake of caffeine, use of tobacco and history of depression?
And some men have the frickin’ nerve to ask why we get all crabby and emotional once a month.
My advice to males is to keep distance from PMS females and try to avoid arguments. Your life depends on it.

Sometimes it’s surprising how normal activities can seem horribly annoying on PMS days.
Like walking.
Walking all the way to the next cubicle to get some documents. Documents you need to finalize your new project. Suddenly you hate your new project. You hate the guy in the cubicle. For making you walk all the way to get the documents. What’s his problem anyway? Can’t he bring it over? All he does is, sits right up his fat ass staring at his screen the entire day. For all we know, he’s probably watching porn. The sick bastard.
And those shoes. Why the frickin’ hell was it ever purchased? Can barely stand in those heels. It’s the shoe shop sales guy’s fault. He made you try these on. So you fell for his crap and bought it. Asshole.
But this is only a hypothetical situation.
Or.. not?..

on a normal day

PMS week.

I even had pictures to prove it.
ugh ..

and this post is how I let off some steam. damn it! its my blog and I can write about anything I want. HMPF

My Valentine's Post

2008-02-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day is the world's most over rated , commercialised and annoying day ever.
the singles despise it, the lovers well.. love it.
so what does it really do for all of us?
sometimes it doesn't really matter as long as your dating someone and the sucker gets you gifts.
but if you're single, the mere sight of a heart shaped object or the sound of an over played love song on the radio can make you see enough red to last a life time.
you might be wondering who the fuck am I to be ranting about valentine's day right? I don't blame you. I just wanted to write something about it and if you re reading this too bad.
I am also going to dish out some lame valentine's gifts people seem to be exchanging.
here's a few I ve noticed over the years.

Ugly rings
wow. what were they even thinking to design such garbage. it should not even be in the market to begin with. its so fucking ugly I needed therapy after seeing one up close.

Pathetic cards
corny verses. boring pictures. need i say more?

Picture frames.
didn't I just ban them from the x mas gifts list? why not ban em as gifts altogether for crying out loud.

Pendants
the ones which say I love you and be mine are so fucking 100 years ago.

moving on, I must say that there are some pretty crappy valentines sales going around.. and I am a victim. I bought a perfume off a catalogue ( I'm sure you know the brand..) and it fucking stinks. what a waste of money. and it was on sale. now I know why. what were they thinking ?? choke someone this valentine's day?

if you wondering why I m so negative about the whole thing, its not cos I ve only celebrated valentine's day once in my entire pathetic life.. its cos I think its over rated. do you see people celebrating world flowers day or world shopping discount day as much ?? ( they should soo have a worlds shopping discount day and give 50% off on everything )
I am very very dissappointed in how people are easily mislead by all this.. its a very tsk tsk situation.

anyways i hope all you people have a nice valentine's day this year.. ( cough)

Tales from waaaay back then.. ( part one )

2008-02-05T19:27:00.000-08:00

I 've been doing a lot of thinking and I keep going back to the past. I just remembered something horrible I did to my sister. (i know this is not the time to be thinking about things you did about ten years ago.. but i just wanted to post this in case something happens to me.)
i read a joke off the sunday mirror once and wanted to play the exact joke on my sister, who was absolutely clueless.
our conversation went on like this.

Me - hey , check this out. . ( sticks out finger at her face) it feels like rubbber but looks like plastic!
sis - ( looks at my finger for about 5 minutes) yeah..
me - just feel it. its crazy!!
sis - ok!! ( takes it into her fingers) yeah .. wow! you're right!! where did you get it from??
me - (unable to hide my laughter any longer) my nose you ding bat. hahahhaha

i really cannot remember what happened after that though. but she was hella pissed and didnt talk to me the whole day. man... those were the days..

AN OPEN ODE TO THE LTTE

2008-01-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

you've been around since the seventies
causing pain and misery
separating children from their families
shedding blood- all just for nothing

east or west you want it all
fighting til we all just fall
if you could think bout the blood you've spilt
would you care about why this war even exists?

we've seen enough of your bloody hate
now its time to stopping using us as bait
forget the past, move on- its not too late
this is a request from the future of this state

Free puppies!!

2008-01-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

Two of my boyfriend' s many dogs have littered cute chubby pups who are looking for kind dog lovers to take very very good care of them. People with crazy new year resolutions like "wanting to adopt a puppy this year" can also contact me through a comment on this post. And readers who already have five dogs and three cats - pls spread the word.

THE PERFECT DAUGHTER

2008-01-14T00:55:00.000-08:00

Perfect - having everything that is necessary. Complete and without faults or weaknesses.

Daughter – a person’s female child.

With just the above definitions of the two words combined one may ask if the perfect daughter exists.
Is it humanely possible for a female to be complete, without any faults or weaknesses?
Let’s face it. No ones perfect.
But as females we ask ourselves at some point “am I a perfect daughter?”

The question is usually raised when we feel we have failed to impress or please our parents, or perhaps breaking the news about our failure to those who’ve had so much hope in you, and those who also would have probably sacrificed a lot just to give you a good education, and the best in everything else along the way..
So can you really blame them for their hopes and expectations?
Would you still turn a blind eye to their demands and let things go your way?

As a woman I have questioned myself which path to choose.
To be the obedient daughter and silently agree and fulfill all their demands OR to rebel my way out of the planned & protected environment they have so caringly created.
Some may choose to be the obedient daughter, (regardless of any religion, caste or creed) who never raises a question when all decisions related to her life, is made by her parents.
While some may choose to show repugnance, stomp their feet down and move out of their parents grasp.
But of course all these choices arise after high school/college ends, there after eventually leading to their choice of marriage or even their partner for marriage.

The Sri Lankan culture is such that, as soon a female reaches her early twenties, she is pressured to find a suitable partner.
A “perfect” daughter would agree to an arranged marriage so to speak as they never attempted to find someone of their choice hence avoid disappointing or rebelling against their parents. Then there’s the Indian culture that worships female goddesses, then turn around and treat women like scum, by restricting them from education, clothing items apart from a shalwar or a saree, social behavior, and relationships with the opposite sex.
Think it’s the Asian culture? Think again!
Many cultures have adapted this believing that women should be pure virgins and bow down males in order to perfect!

But in a situation, like education or marriage, will agreeing to everything your parent’s state make you the perfect daughter??
Do we look into the mirror and see the perfect daughter who is also happy and content, fulfilled and secure about her future … ?
Or do we see misery, resentment and regret in her eyes because she sacrificed her happiness to be the perfect daughter?

Sometimes it’s not about being the perfect daughter that matters.

There was one person whom I came across who had a terminally ill mother and took care of her till the very last day. She was barely sixteen when her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Seeing her go through that emotional rollercoaster made me wonder what role I play as a daughter.
I could not imagine the psychological state of a child who had to miss school just so that she could take care of her dying mother.
Even though I believe that perfection is something we cannot achieve easily, I saw her as the closest to what I could call a perfect daughter. Her effort to nurse her mother back to health may have failed, but for what its worth she did her mother proud. She is still the same person today, taking over her mother’s role and juggling high school. One would consider this the duties of a daughter, as a child, to any parent – but not because she is perfect.

There are probably hundreds of females like her all over the world who face many obstacles and emotional pain just to keep their parents/family satisfied.
This is when we should question ourselves “what role do I play as a daughter?”
The answer lies within us. It’s not something anyone can teach you or help you feel. Its something we all learn as time passes by.

Being a perfect daughter is something difficult to accomplish… because as human beings, we cannot be perfect, whether we are a parent or a child. As much as a daughter would go to extremes to please her parents who have given her the world … they sometimes need some support and understanding from the parents on their choices and decisions as well. Restricting and demanding obedience & discipline from a female-child can sometimes drive them out of bounds. One may not and never have a perfect daughter … but with a relationship built with trust, communication, friendship, respect, discipline and a lot of love can bring happiness into the hearts of both the parent and the daughter.

My David Grohl Dream

2007-12-17T01:40:00.000-08:00

I had a strange dream last night involving my boyfriend and David Grohl.Now hold up before you wet yourself with excitement.

I dreamt that my boyfriend had suddenly turned into.. David Grohl.. I mean one minute he was good old boyfriend.. next minute he was David Grohl -with all the facial hair.
I mean it wasn’t really David Grohl.. it was just that , the boyfriend had suddenly grown facial hair- David Grohl style. I didn’t know if to be happy that he looked like David Grohl .. or to kill myself cos he looked a horrible David Grohl.
I love them both very very much.. but it was just so weird.
I hope my bf never ever – ever- tries to grow facial hair like David Grohl.. EVER!!

THE BEST AND THE WORST CHRISTMAS GIFTS.. EVER ! ( for ladies.. cos i know jack shit about mens gifts)

2007-12-05T23:04:00.000-08:00

Oh wow!! It’s that time of the year again.
Its time for the weather change, extra gratis payments (you lucky pricks) and good food.
But what really gets you going is … THE GIFTS.
So here’s a little list of the best and the worst gifts I came up with. Readers are more than welcome to add to this list.

THE WORST

1. Ugly hand bags

Why are they even made in the first place? It clashes with every outfit you could possible come up with and yet some assface ends up gifting it to you.

2. A photo frame

Burn whoever who gives you a lousy photo frame this Christmas. Who the fuck gives such horrible things as a gift? God..

3. Costume jewellery

Why buy fake shit when you can gift real ones, you cheap bastards

4. Ornaments

Ugh. It’s as bad a photo frame. The same fate may be enforced upon the person gifting it.

5. The Entire season of Baywatch.

Make sure they drown for gifting this piece of garbage. Lets see if Pamela Anderson wants to save their ass now.

THE BEST

1. Bling

Yeah that’s right. Women like bling on everything!
Cell phones, white gold earrings, watches, shoes.. anything. so get them diamond encrusted goods.

2.Perfumes.. and sexy lingerie

Don’t tell me you thought only one part of the above, was going to get you off the hook?
Think again. Women prefer designer perfumes, asshole. Not cheap rip-offs. maybe if you’re really lucky she’ll let you look at her in the lingerie you gift her. So make sure its Victoria’s secret.

3. A brand new car.

Preferably a jag, merc or even an Audi .

4. 12 month hair treatment voucher at a trendy salon.

This should include hair cuts, hair color treatments, expensive hair care products etc. please note the word trendy above. if its a salon which says " saloon" at the entrance .. you will die horribly.

5. An Eternal agreement to purchase shoes from any store at any given time which will be paid by the person gifting it obviously.

If there is anyone willing to gift this, Please contact me.

Anyways, happy holiday’s people. And I hope you all have a good time shopping for your loved ones.

My Top 5 dipshits for the year 2007

2007-11-30T03:22:00.000-08:00

5. My ex.

What a fucking waste of time. I spent half the year kissing his ass just so that he’ll kiss mine in return. I gave up my weekends which I could have rather slept in or even read a book, to spend more time with him. Just imagine the fucking time spent on traveling just to meet the dipshit. Not to mention the fucked up bull shit I had to come up with to get out of home.
I used up all the best excuses for that retard and now I ve got nothing left to sneak out at night.
I hope the motherfucker rots in hell for wasting my time and excuse lines.
Reasons why I think he is a dipshit apart from these above?
Oh wow, let me see.. there so many I can’t be bothered to write it all here.
But there was one time he forgot my birthday.
Yeah that’s right. He spoke to me til 12 midnight on the eve of my birthday and didn’t fucking wish me, till about 7 in the morning.
Ok, here’s the thing. I don’t celebrate birthdays. But the fact that, he forgot it fucking pissed me off.

Alternate word for this dipshit- Retard

4. My ex boss.

This old hag was the reason why I had to end my career and start over.
I worked so hard to be recognized as a good employee but dipshit didn’t see that in me.
He was a desperate sick motherfucking pervert who wanted to get laid so bad that he tried all kinds of weird shit to get me to fuck him.
The last one involving a tropical holiday resort, a hotel room and the old desperate motherfucker’s sick behavior.
He offered me an indecent proposal which I refused very politely trying my best not to sound like a nervous cat , even though we were miles away from home and he could have just strangled me and toss my body out. The when that plan failed , the fucknut tricked me into collecting a document from his room and then pounced on me , but me being super woman managed to wiggle my way out of his greasy arms.
Hope he gets run over by a bus and survives for what he did to me.

Alternate word for this dipshit- Pervert

3. Anarkali whatever the fuck her last name is

Will someone please just shoot this silly twit? And why the fuck is she on every TV commercial/ sinhala TV drama/ sinhala movie?
She can’t act for a fuck or sing for that matter either. My cat can act better than she can.
And she’s got the worst dress sense ever. I wonder who the fuck her stylist is, cos who ever it is should be tortured for letting her out in such attire.
What’s the deal with the fucked up blonde hair anyways? I mean acting like retarded blonde is not enough for her I guess. And the annoying accent just rings in my ear. If you can’t speak your mother tongue you should fucking drop dead.
Then there was some garbage about her wanting to be a journalist.
Right.
Who ever recruits her or rather wants to read her fucked up nonsense would be her stalkers who probably think her blonde head is hot.
Some people would do anything just to be fucking rich.
Even if it means looking a whore or eating people’s shit.

Alternate word for this dipshit- Airhead

2. M.Silva Jnr

Who the fuck does he think he is? Beating random people to a pulp and then acting like cunt when thrown in jail.
What an assface.
He is nothing but a silly mama’s boy who wants attention. Maybe his daddy ignores his fucked up ass at home.
Wonder where the fuck he’s hidden his cunt now.
Silly retard.
Think twice before you walk into a gay club with lover boy or whoever you’re fucking now.
How about just sitting down and enjoying a drink instead of trying to fuck up other people’s lives?
I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your stinking life.

Alternate word for this dipshit- cunt

1. M Silva Snr.

Also known as the above mentioned cunt’s father. A hobbit sized politician known for his snappy jaws which gets his ass into trouble. We probably should not blame the “cunt” for his mistakes.
Instead blame it on the mentally fucked up father who can’t stop his fat nose being poked into everyone else’s business.
Do us all a favor and just drop dead, assshole.
Or maybe you should move to middle earth and live with Frodo and the gang. Hobbits don’t belong here.

Alternate word for this dipshit - Asshole

Playing Ladylicious!

2007-11-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

Last week out of sheer boredom/trying to forget I have exams in a week, I sent my details to E! Fm to participate in a competition called ladylicious. I had to name my dream celebrity, (which of course was- Wentworth miller), and they call me up with 5 questions on the dude, and if I get the highest score for the week I get to take 3 friends out, on their expense.
And me being an ardent fan of Wentworth, got all 5 questions right.
Yay!!
So Last Wednesday my three pals and I were driven in

And taken to

Where we got a manicure and our hair done. After what seemed like forever we were
then driven in the merc to

For a 30 min foot rub! It was so relaxing I almost fell asleep.
After the slumber session we headed to

After entering into an empty bar, we wondered how the night would end.
We started off with a toast to the very sexy Wentworth with

And then went on to have some grub and a few

Unfortunately the night ended early because we all felt bad about the bomb blast and the victims.
Yeah right.
My parents wanted my ass home early.
Overall it was not that bad. I would not call it the best ladies night out. But it was pretty neat.
So thanks to Wentworth and E! fm I had a rather unusual night filled with ladylicious thingy bobs.

White Winged Dove

2007-11-19T21:46:00.000-08:00

She’s caged inside waiting
For her freedom to come
She feels like life’s not worth living
Wonders why she was ever born

She wants to be that white winged dove
And feel that thing called love
But with her wings clipped back
She cries till her tears turn black

Hey eyes now bleed
Waiting for hope
In this world full of greed
She has no hope

The white winged dove turns black..
Frozen with hate
She pulls her wings back

Hell in my well (part 3)

2007-11-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

As I stand to watch you burn
Fall apart, crumble down to the earth
Your eyes reflect in pain and fear
But I can only watch you with a sneer

My pain and anger
Created hate
To watch you fall
Was in my fate

You should have thought twice
Before you lied
Now it’s too Late ..
because you’ve died

You’ve died inside..
inside your heart
and pain surrounds you..
breaking you apart

I feel a single tear
roll down my cheek
but only out of happiness
after seeing you weak

TNL ONSTAGE 2007!!

2007-11-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Ok. So it happens every year! And some of us have been attending since it first launched in 1999.
I can still remember calling up TNL and testing their patience questing about the competition
Anyways.. this year my best buddy Lakmaal, is competing with five others in the soloist category.
And At the semi’s he did a brilliant cover of collective soul’s shine, and muse’s starlight.
I have heard many covers of shine.. including a dolly parton version.. but I would say lakmaal’s is one of the best.
So all of you reading this do come support Lakmaal’s Rodrigo, on the 10th of November 2007 at the SLECC!!

Under the weather?

2007-11-01T02:03:00.000-07:00

Sniff.
As I type this I can feel the snot in my nose drip down.
The whole of last week has been a blur.
Got confused with Mr. X’s comeback and was meant to think it was just a mere action of boredom mixed with the rise of stress levels.
And neither by me of course.
Then quite unsure of my relationship status I figured a day at a trendy salon might help me get my mind off things.
So I made my way down to a “flashy salon” along with a friend and ended up chopping and highlighting my tresses and spending a (gulp) thumping amount.
The whole trip was just insane. First my friend makes me wait for thirty minutes down R.A. De Mel mawatha, asking me to send the tuk tuk I arrived in away so that we can travel to the salon together in her tuk tuk.
I stood there looking like some stupid retard for her to show up- and TA-DA she shows up walking and asks ME where the tuk tuk is.
At that point my brain was about to explode with anger and then she calmed me down by walking me down to the salon which was located just around the corner.
(If I had only known the location..)
Anyways after we spent like what seemed like forever at the salon, we decided to go shopping.
Shopping was a drag. We kept on moving from store to store all the way down duplication road to find the perfect bolero coat.
Finally after locating one at a shop down dharmapala mawatha we headed back home in the rain, ruining our new hair dos.
If we were total blondes I would have just killed myself and my friend.
I mean walking around in the rain? What were we thinking??
And just after a new hair cut?? Oh-my-god.
The weather didn’t do me any good anyways. I have been sick since that day and looking forward to get rid of all the phlegm stuck inside me.

Being Cynosure

2007-10-18T03:00:00.000-07:00

I thought this was going to be my suicidal/ insomnia filled- anger infested week.
I guess I was wrong!
I seem to be the center of attention all of a sudden and I find it quite funny.
Everyone wants to know what happened to my relationship status, and what I plan to do next!
Its not that I don’t like being the center of attention.. but what really bothers me is the attention I seem to get from males!
Species of the opposite sex, whom I have not spoken to in years call me up or send me a message through face book to “check up’ on me.
Like what ever!!
Right now all I can think of is ME-ME-ME.
IT’S ALL ABOUT MOI!
ME AND MY NEW FOUND SINGLE LIFE!
No more drippy nosed annoying voices complaining about bad days at work.
No more hugs for the” baby’ with – just a mild cold. (Its just a cold, not like you're having cancer or something. Get over it)
And no more moody attitudes thrown at you because you have more fun with your girlfriends.

I guess this the life. =)

Series of unfortunate events (part one)

2007-10-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

1. The suicide of my Nokia 3250
It slept all night next to me like always. When I woke up next morning, I found it dead. Even after hospitalizing my baby at various care centers it refused to revive.
boohoo

2. Herpes and diarrhea
My mother being infected with the very contagious herpes and finding out that I’ m immune to it even if I have NEVER been diagnosed with chicken pox. And then there was dad s diarrhea, which went on for two days.
It was chaos at home!! Chaos!!

3. Cuts and bruises
My legs involving in some serious bruising in two separate accidents. Ouch! Now I have an angry 0ne inch scar just below my knee. At least the bruise faded away..

4. Someone’s being digging in my closet!!
The stinking past coming back to haunt me. Buried secrets, skeletons in my fancy closet being passed from ear to ear and finally back to mine.

5. The retarded swine.
Two weeks after writing "letting go". I finally get dumped by the retarded swine.
Through e-mail.
Of course he gave me his reasons. After dating for 6 months he gives me the most basic excuse retards come up with “I need space. Its not you. It’s me”.

So there you go. And all this nonsense occurred while I was fasting.
Tsk tsk.
Life is definitely a bitch.
But I’ m still the queen of my dark asylum.

Stupid Ugly Things

2007-10-09T23:01:00.000-07:00

Growing up is the hardest thing I thought I had been through.
Struggling to fit in, rebelling, annoying stalkers and of course who can forget education??
Being a dorky teenager never takes you places. So get rid of the dorky image!!
Ok. Ok.. Let us not stereotype ourselves now shall we? But I do admit it.
Yes. I was a total dork right through my early teens. I was getting backstabbed, pushed around, spat at. You name it. Back then I didn’t think I was strong enough to fight back.
If you’re not mentally balanced you can’t beat anything!! You gotta pick yourself up when you’re down. No one gives a damn when you fall down. They’ll only point fingers and laugh at you.
So when ever someone lets you down, don’t sit around and cry waiting for them to help you back up again.
Pick yourself up and walk away! You might hear a chorus singing your failure theme song.. but ignore it!! The background score dudes made a mistake! They should be playing the chariots of fire theme song or something.
If you do lose a close friend due to their lack of faith or breach of trust, fuck it. They were never your close friends to begin with.
Repulse might cross your minds, but I would say holding back is the best thing. Like someone wise (yet retarded enough to break my heart) known to me said “two wrongs don’t make a right”.
If you don’t have that annoying special someone share your woes, always remember that you are never alone. Embrace a new activity!
Learn more about your religion!
Eat more chocolate!
Steal money!
Do drugs!
Become an alcoholic!
Ok so maybe I was kidding about stealing money and doing drugs.
So who said you can’t have fun alone?
If you feel angry, don’t hurt others by assaulting or backstabbing them. Listen to some heavy metal instead.
These are the words I kept hearing all along. Never let them take the best of you! No one owns you. You belong to – YOU!
What I have learnt is that life can be a bitch, and picking up the pieces can be the hardest.
But nothing can stay broken forever.
It can ALWAYS be replaced.

~ NOTICE ~

2007-10-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have decided to change my blogger name from Goddess of Abundance to Queen of the Dark Asylum with effect from today.

The holy month has made me realize that comparing one’s self to god is extremely.. wrong. Even though the meaning of my name does mean G.O.A, I have decided to change it anyways.

BOOHOO!!

Letting Go

2007-09-26T23:32:00.000-07:00

The time has come
For me to let go
But when you’re gone
I won’t cry til I’m sore

I’ve learnt to adjust
Throughout the pain
So I won’t blow the dust
Away from your photo frame

I’ll walk alone, down the journey we created
I’ll walk away, away from it all
And without your hand I’ll do just fine
So thanks for being such a retarded swine

And so it begins..

2007-09-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

My daily meals have been temporarily halted.
Well, its the beginning of the month of ramadhan. And i ll be fasting for thirty days.
So i thought i d check on my sanity level through out the day by updating my blog every hour..

9.15 a.m

Got an e mail from my boyfriend saying he is hungry. Well, it’s only nine. Why are men always hungry?
Such a mystery.
More of a pain actually.
My colleagues are singing. And planning on having a snack in front of me.
Ha!!! They think I am weak. They think I will falter when I see food.
They are so wrong.

11.22 a.m

hmm.. my stomach just gave an angry growl. shut up for god's sake.. someone might actually here you. .. and lets hope boss wont for the second time.
my colleague's planning his wedding.
weddings remind of.. buffets.. and champagne.. and desserts...
someone please.. get this dude away from me!!

1.10 p.m

Everyone’s finally had lunch. And now talking about getting dessert.
Hmpf.
They just decided to get dessert for the entire office the day I began fasting.
Oh wait.. I think I heard them say they are broke.
Thank god.
My throat is so dry right now.
sigh.

2.20 p.m

I feel like I am floating. Maybe I have found some kind of nirvana here..
Wait.. What’s that sound.. mmmm.. sounds like someone ripping open a packet..
but..a packet of what?? It could be anything.
Potato chips. MnMs. Chocolate biscuits. Chocolates.
I cant poke my head into the next cubicle.. It might look weird.
My colleagues have finally shut up. They are interested in the cricket match, rather than stuffing their faces. for once..

3.37 p.m

arghhhhhh! my chest! such pain.
But i am strong!! i will make it through the day.. 3 hours more..
oh and that ripping sound was not packets of anything consumable.
it was just paper.
but awhile back my annoying colleagues were multitasking!
oh wow! who said men cant multitask eh? ( i guess that would be me..)
they were playing cricket in office ( boss left early.. i guess he could not bear to watch me die in hunger) and eating peanuts at the same time.
aiyoooo!

4.16 p.m

just about to leave office. wonder if i 'll see any food stalls on the way down to the bus halt.
ok this has to stop.
no more thinking about FOOD.
EVER.

5 useless facts I have stumbled across this week..

2007-09-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

1. Minister’s son caught in club brawl

Dude, what’s with beating up people for no reason? I mean, I know having a bad temper and doing drugs at the same time might reduce the size of a person’s brain. But acting like it is just not doing anyone good.Yeah, we know by the droopy look on his face that he is an alcoholic, but does he really need to prove it? It’s disgusting how he thinks he runs the whole show, walking around like a pansy with a few body guards.
I didn’t know if to call him an asshole or a retard at first. But then again.. Assholes have brains.. while retards.. hmmm I am sure you get the point?

2. Gilmore girls re run on TV

For the past 2 months they have been showing a repeat of a certain Gilmore girl’s episode. For the past two months.
I know. You can roll your eyes too.
So anyways, yesterday, there was a new episode on TV, which should have been aired before the episode they have been airing for the past two months.
It’s like showing episode 7 before episode 6. Just imagine if it was an episode of lost or something. Damn.
Oh and I also noticed that the character Luke Danes, has a tattoo each on both arms.

3. My Tnl radio VIP card nonsense

I voiced my thoughts got myself kicked out of the TNL radio Forum. The pricks have also deleted my post, which I have linked in my previous post.
But what I really noticed is that, most of the bloggers on the forum are equally ticked off as me, or even worse. But I am glad I have some people on myside against the pricks who cut me off for fighting them..

4. The month of Ramadhan starts off tomorrow

Erm.. yeah. I will be deprived of food for a month. That’s not bad news actually. I don’t have an issue with being hungry.. I can handle hunger, groaning stomachs. Chest pains from that thing called gastritis.
But it’s the thirst for the magical drink, which weakens me.
No it’s not what you think.
Its water.
Since it’s the holy month I will not only be deprived of food.. also from all kinds of entertainment like music- all things related to music.
Sigh
And my cousin’s school choir thingy is starting off tomorrow. She singing this time and I wont be able to make it.
Then there’s onstage. My best friend’s doing the solo semis this year. And it’s falling on my sister’s birthday. Can’t attend that either. Tsk tsk.
Its not that I am complaining.It’s the holy month after all.. being deprived of such things is not really the end of the world. And Its not like I get to attend such things anyways..

5. My bad temper

I am a less angry moron now.
I guess I should be thanking my boyfriend for helping me get over my demons.
Even when I was screaming my head off at him for the silliest things, he always spoke to me in a very very calm voice.
He made me look a screaming banshee, and that made me realize that I should not be screaming my head off and throwing objects at people to tick me off.
I have found other ways to get back at people who tick me off.
Muhahhahaha. –hahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhah- cough- hahhmuhah
Oh, I do hope they like pain. Lots and lots of physical pain.

Just kidding!

TNL VIP CARD, A MAJOR RIP OFF?

2007-09-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Ok people, let’s face it.
The Tnl VIP card is a fucking rip off.
At an early stage when the card was introduced, it was announced by the radio station that all VIP card holders will be granted free admission to all Tnl radio organized events.
But now, they seem to have altered their rules by simply giving free admission to only new VIP members.

How lame is that? And when I raised this topic on the TNL forum, they delete my user name , along with some of the others who agreed with me. And I bet they have dropped me out of the VIP members list as well.

Oh screw it. You spelt my name wrong on the fucking card anyways.

All I wanted to point out was that, they should have not made such stupid statements if they knew they are not able to handle it.

I guess the truth hurts now. And I don’t give a flying TNL radio admin’s pants if they have deleted me or redeemed my membership. I just want all the listeners and readers to know what cocky bull shit they promised us at the very beginning.

I shall post some of the responses I got from the post I made on the forum.

I cant seem to post much here, but for alll those who would like to read the complete set of it can check it out at http://www.tnlrocks.com/forum/index.php?page=forum&type=posts&thread=39697

I would like to give a big shout out to my best buddy Lakmaal and also Slowdeath, who were deleted along with me. Thanks for sticking with me through all the madness. =)

The Search for Aragon

2007-09-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

The door knob twists open
I walk out in search
My heart feels broken
Wondering if its hurts

Thoughts fall upon me
Of most which I dread
Sleepless I wonder
If Aragon’s dead.

In darkness, as I search
For Aragon’s face
All alone he may stumble
Upon his fate..

His fate now unknown
Unknown to me..
Sadness creeps back slowly
As I step outside my back door

erm.. yeah, tagged- AGAIN

2007-09-06T04:05:00.000-07:00

1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog

1- I AM.. a malay.

2. I LOVE.. Wentworth Miller. and James Lafferty. (heheh).. oh and Channing Tatum too.

3. I Have messy hair. which i do love very much.

4. I have a thing For tall, dark, men. between the age of 18-25. (hehehh...)

5. I don't read that much anymore.

6. I am always broke.

7. I love shoes. and I have over 35 pairs already.

8. I have been in love 3 times.

okay so that was just some random stuff about me.
wait.. what was that?
i have to tag 8 people ? and spread it again?

but i dont think anyone wants to be tagged!! so..

THE END

March of the centipede

2007-09-03T23:49:00.001-07:00

I seek for hope in darkness
Only to find madness
Within these walls I feel such hate
Maybe this is of my fate
I search for the centipede that runs through the night
My hands grab everything in sight
Moving away from it all, it now hides

But now the centipede crawls my way,
Its bite stings me
The pain sinks in me
Takes the best of me
The march of the centipede disturbs me
So now i watch it burn below
All my pain now pushed upon thee

I have fallen in love..

2007-09-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

with a greek god.. and he is just so freaking GORGEOUS.

sigh.

Wentworth Miller.

see what just the whole season of Prison Break can do to you.

Introducing Aragon

2007-08-29T04:16:00.000-07:00

Aragon on my shoulder

Eric " Aragon" Cartman..

Tiny Aragon wondering if I'm gonna step on him

The W word (Part Two)

2007-08-27T00:14:00.000-07:00

I have been scarred for the rest of my life.
No seriously. I swear I am never attending another wedding if I am the bride’s maid or the bride.
It’s that bad.
JUST KIDDING!! (Gosh, I am not all that bitter about everything I do.. Jesus!! )
But I was tortured for more than 20 hours on the day of the wedding, and yes ended up looking exactly what pissu described in her comment on my last post.
I have pictures to prove it.
Which I am never going to post.

So, apart from looking like walking ribbon cake, we had a good time laughing at how stupid we looked, eating at the head table even after the bride and groom walked away, going all the way up to the 5th floor to get some freaking note which was supposed to have the bride’s going away time and realizing it was with my cousin back at the hall, tripping on my saree, tripping on the brides saree, stepping on her veil, getting blasted for stepping on her veil!
Wow, all this was just soooo much fun! SERIOUSLY!
And that’s just the good news.

The bad news is, that we had no food til dinner, crying kids, (to be fairly honest there was not one single person there who didn’t cry), tight saree jackets which deprived me from oxygen.. for a short while til the jacket just popped .( enough said about that.)

Well, I hate dissing the wedding because it was my gorgeous cousin’s wedding and it was her day after all. So I am going to be extra nice and end this on a happier note, wishing her and her husband good luck and pray they won’t blame me for most of the blunders made that evening.

Hehe..

The Wedding (part one)

2007-08-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

I should have started the countdown a month back, but i have been so busy being s selfish bitch i just didnt have the time.

Until, last night. at the dress rehearsal. just one day more.

one day.

gak! its too freaking late to change my mind now.. damn it!!

why the sudden change of heart one may ask.

sigh.

Seeing my pathetic self in that mirror made me realize that I may have done the biggest mistake of the year. ( I was gonna say life , but then I have already done that mistake. Kindly refer post titled loser no xxx)
I hate make up. And all that load of crap on me made me look worse than what I usually am. And I thought make up was supposed to “highlight” beauty.
Yeah, highlight my freaking flat a** first.
And this was only the trial. Just imagine what its gonna be like tomorrow.
I sat there while being tortured with face paint, thinking "what is the worst that could happen?"
Maybe I‘d trip while walking in to the hall, in front of 200 guests- and be caught on camera doing so.
Or maybe not.
Maybe, I’d make a fool out of myself on the dance floor, then trip on the sari ( yes sari, gosh! enough already!) and fall flat on my face.

Or maybe not.
All these insane thoughts keep swimming in my head. I assume its cos I am nervous.
After all I am only the bride’s maid. (for the first time in my entire life! )
I can’t imagine how the bride must feel.
The bride warned me yesterday that she will slit my throat if I don’t smile and keep all the guests entertained.
The conversation at her “suck up to my bride’s maids and best men / introduce them to each other (for the first time) so it wont look awkward on video” dinner went something like this,

Bride: people , please smile, ok? And you, no more zombie faces.
Me: who me? What do you mean, zombie faces?
Bride : that face you make when being photographed.
Me: what are you talking about. I don’t make faces when being photographed
Bride : yeah, that’s how you look when you smile.
Me: (too offended to reply)..

Ok I lied, that’s not how it went. This is how it really happened,

Bride: ok everybody, please listen, esp. you : SMILE at all times or I will kill you. And- Oh my god is that CBK? (Yes we had a chance of seeing CBK live in the flesh last night)

While I struggled to say something, one of the best men (who’s also the groom’s brother) was struggling to leave the restaurant in fear of his life. Err.. dude, CBK is not the president anymore. So no one cares.

BUT Right now I am just dreading tomorrow, and I gotta spend one more night with her too.( gulp! )
If I don’t post a part two, it means, my body has been decapitated by the bride for being stupid and anti social at her wedding.

But On a happier note, I hope my darling drop dead gorgeous cousin has a blast at her wedding and I am happy that she finally picked me to be one of her bride’s maid’s. (The other one’s my sister).
It took me a life time to get here. (..?..)

(Gosh, I sound so pathetic even when trying to end the post.)

why is my blog .. so dark and depressing?

2007-08-14T03:57:00.000-07:00

Well, .. I wanted to write about something funny and less complicating, but nothing came into my mind.
I sat in office the whole day thinking of something plesant to share with everyone. .
and the only pleasant thing I could think of was eating more chcolate..!!

The name of my blog says it all.
The dark asylum.
a place to release the demons inside of you.
this is the only place I can release my demons.
i'm so fucking sorry if i have hurt anyone's feelings by writing about them in my blog.
i'm so sorry i dont give a shit about their feelings right now.
I write what I feel and i Write what i've been through.
oh well, thats all for now!
Ta-ta!

Tears in hell

2007-08-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

My anger now turns to sadness
within me i feel so drained
whats with all this madness?
why am i the one to be blamed?

I ve watched you take a punch at me
push me down so deep
now i wish i had never been
underneath those sheets

My feelings cry for something else
not your hands this time
take away your ugly face
you dirty little swine

all my tears will call your name
til we meet in hell
If you think you've won this game
this aint the end of this tale

I have been Infected..

2007-08-10T02:27:00.000-07:00

I have been spending the entire week reading the infected bloggers entries on the fastest spreading virus and silently thanking god for not being infected.

And then I realized that I have been tagged by John.

Anyways, I guess it’s my turn to reveal seven useless facts about myself.

So here goes,

1. I hate exercising. I hate working out and I hate gyms. You would never ever catch me inside any place with an ab shaper/ ass toner/ boob enhancer etc. yeah, I am a lazy retard. Sue me.

2. I am also a chocoholic. I love chocolates and chocolates love me. I like chocolate on anything... =) and I don’t care about pimples and fat asses. . for now.

3. I love shoes. I am a shoe freak. I have shoes I don’t really wear and knew they would end up in the back of my closet even before buying them. I have about 30 pairs of shoes already and my favorite would be the Bata rubbers.

4. I am a hair band stealer. If I am around you or if I have visited your house, check for your hair bands people, Cos you might find them missing. Oh and you will never get it back either.

5. I am a Muslim. I have faith in god and I pray five times a day. (enough said about that)

6. I am very very shy. (OK, stop laughing I am serious. Very serious.) I don’t have many friends, and when I do meet new people I make a fool out myself by struggling to keep a conversation going. Some misunderstand me for being a big headed bitch. They are wrong, I am a bitch but not big headed. I am just.. .Shy.

7. I am a hobbit!!( yes , hobbit..) and I hate being photographed. I have very good reasons why I should never be photographed. (the TNL FORUM page on facebook, might be the best example ). i could have posted a few pictures to prove a point, but then no 6 applies again and it gets a lil.. fuzzy...(?!)

Ok..... so I am done with the useless facts about myself. Now that I gotta tag 7 others, I have to say that I don’t know seven people who blog ( who has not been tagged yet) or read my blog for that matter.. So I cannot really tag anyone. I hope this infection dies along with me and ends the curse and all the misery it has caused.

How I spent 10 days without my mother

2007-08-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

Day 01

Oh man, the nagging has finally stopped.
I am soo gonna party!! P-A-R-T-Y!!. Yes!! I have been waiting so long for this, I was more excited than she was, when she announced that she was jetting off to India for 10 days. Dad looked a little upset, but we all know he was gonna get over it eventually. So what if we don’t really have anyone to cook anymore.. and besides I like eating out anyways.
My sister seems to be in a good mood too, yeah the devil’s got exams next week and I don’t think she’s been studying at all.
Sigh

Day 02

I swear I am never drinking the coffee I make- ever again. Man.. water and coffee is all I taste. And I have to wake up 15 mins early just for this task. And I thought my grandmother’s coffee was bad. Did I mention that the departure of my mother also resulted in the arrival of my grandmother? Hmm.. Well.. at least my grandmother can cook.. I think..

Day 03

WE JUST RUINED A CHICKEN CURRY. My dad is going to kill , me.. oh god, my grandmother accidentally ( or rather on my insistence ..) scattered the wrong spice into the curry, and now it tastes .. like.. something I am ashamed to mention.
Thank god sabee was around and we re cooked the chicken. Its tastes much better now.
Fried chicken is so much easier to make.

Day 04

Since it was the weekend, and I was home, I had to make lunch. I chose to make macaroni and cheese. With all the cooking instructions being on the box, it was easy!
I waited for my sister to taste it first.. but she was out and I didn’t want my grandmother to eat it and complain.. (or rather drop dead..) .
Well she survived it and refused to even take her medication after the consumption of my cooking for various reasons and I prayed to god that she will be healthy til my mother came back. .. at least..

Day 05

I cant take it anymore.. I make freaking coffee every morning and it still tastes the same. Yuck!! Somebody please.. just shoot me!! And did I mention how much I hate eating from out? It’s the same god dammed curries everyday.. I feel like puking now.
I hope mom comes back soon.. Maybe she s sick of India already.
Yeah right.

Day 06

My sister is about to die. She s got it really bad. She just smsd my mum saying she misses her. Wasn’t she the one who wanted mum to leave in the first place? She is weird I’ll tell you. She is 19 for god’s sake and acts like a baby. . Every time we have a fight she screams for my mom. (Which I am also guilty of..)
Gosh we both sound so lame right now..

Day 07

Three freaking days more. She just called home this morning and told us that she plans to stay longer. What is she?? Crazy?? I told my dad that he should have never let her go with those ladies in the first place!! And India?? She must be shopping her brains out. And literally shopping til she drops..
I m a jealous freak, I am stuck with these folks at home. Eating my own cooking and drinking coffee I made with my own hands.
I need therapy.

Day 08

What is with this mahagedara nonsense? My grandmother is addicted!! Its just one of those lame Indian dramas which never makes sense. ( please read narcissists of mice’s a tale of mahagedara). This time the damsel in distress aka Nandani has woken from a coma and is still being a retard, and its worse than before the blow or whatever that knocked her out cold.(the blow was long enough for her husband to marry another woman who is also: Nandani’s best friend. )
If you are thinking.. WTF?? I have to agree with you.. Who gives a flying rat’s ass anyways?

Day 09

One day more people.. one day more. I have survived 9 days. ..
I hope I don’t get hit by a truck tomorrow.
There’s some party happening today, but who gives a fuck about parties man? I want to eat home cooked food. God damn it..

Ps. Mac and cheese for dinner again.

Day 10

---
---- ?

my crazy weekend

2007-07-24T03:24:00.000-07:00

oh my god.
i do not think that i have EVER been so drunk in my entire life.
drunk and sleepless.
drunk and stupid.
oh.. and drunk.. and just drunk!!
i was just hoping that the stupid acts i indulged in,while in my druken stuper will be forgotten.. but since they have been photographed and e mailed all over .. i highly doubt i will hear the end of it.
what was i even thinking when i wore that horrid outfit? red is so not my color!!
i dunno which is worse , being labled "mutton dressed as lamb" by almost everyone younger or called a blooming tart by - a tart.
anyways.. moving on..i really had a freaking good time with the girls and we just danced our legs away. literally.. cos some of us still cant walk and i swear my legs were amputated and sewn back or something after i passed out.. or did i? hmmm.. my advice ladies, never wear heels if your sure of dancing til like you pass out. cos your legs are gonna be paralyzed for the next two days.
there were some pretty weird men, who just didnt seem to be normal, when ever we refused to dance or let them buy us drinks, they questioned "why?". they must be retarded or something to even ask such a question.
come on, no means. NO.
AND if that was not a good enough reason, they want us to briefly explain why not, and it sure as hell did not matter if we were lesbians or what ever cos they just wanted a piece of some ass. sigh
and i want to give a big shout out to the girls for making it happen, even though none of those bitches read this.
i love u guys!
mwah

all of my hate cannot be drowned..

2007-07-18T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hate is something which silently grows inside of us. It causes emotional pain to everyone around us including ourselves.
but why cant we get over it?
why is it so hard to let go of all the hate we have inside? even when we find happiness, we stil have hate inside.

No matter how hard I try to get rid of it, its always there. I just read my entire blog today and realised that 90% of its about hating someone or wishing they were dead. its weird how i ve just written everything which has happened in the past in all these poems.

but then again, its the hate which made me stronger, and i only have the losers who tossed me around to thank.

The end of the bitch week.. and the beginning of the depression period..

2007-07-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

i'm so depressed right now, i feel like killling myself. i dont feel like doing anything. i hate men. i hate everyone. noone cares about how i feel. they never did. oh fuck this

My bitch week is over..

2007-07-10T00:14:00.000-07:00

oh thank god.. my bitch week is finally over!! and i have only myself to thank. yes yes yes.

Bitching about the past for no reason.. (part one)

2007-07-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

Loser Number - xxx

If I ever see this man alive, I swear I will kill him myself. I’m still in search of this creature’s whereabouts to put an end to the misery he caused.
He and I were definitely NOT meant to be, even though I kept lying to myself that he was the one.
This nightmare began during my final two years of schooling. I met him a year prior to my final year at a class somewhere in Colombo 7. Of course there were the occasional babes walking in and out of this institute but RARELY in my class.
He was of a very normal average kind of guy- with a very big gap for a mouth, which seemed to always get him in trouble.
How can I even forget the very first day I laid my eyes on him? It was the day I met _a_i_h. And got my cheek kissed by him as well. Nuff said about that...
Moving on, as I was saying as soon as I laid my eyes on him, I knew he was gonna screw me. He kept annoying every single male in class by naming them “panty mama” or “jangi simayya” etc.
The girls rarely got bugged by motor mouth, but one day- oh yeah- I got it.
I was sitting in a corner carving S_e_a_ G_a_’s and my name on some table (NO, I do not encourage vandalism. I totally forbid it. Vandalism is for RIF-RAFS) when I heard some joke being cracked about “malakada konde”. I laughed along not really paying attention. Suddenly my tiny brain gave a little thought. They were all laughing at me.
More insults were thrown around.
I lost it, stood up and threw him a look of death (I believe)
He pissed in his pants.
I felt stupid just standing there and my brain kept screaming to run over and say a few nasty words and sit down like a lady.
I did as I was told.
He was shitting now and gosh did he look more pansy up close.
To everyone’s horror, he apologized and even the lecturer was beyond shocked. I have never been so angry and embarrassed (at the same time) my entire life. Things were quiet for a while, after that incident, but each time I walked passed him there were chants of “she hates me” by puddle of mudd being muttered in my ear.
Years passed and I never saw him again.. Until I was officially re introduced to him by a friend, who also studied in the same class with me. The girl was a bubbly character who often loved to gossip.
After our re introduction we got along quite well and ended up bring really good friends. He was a good shoulder to cry on and we shared our deepest darkest secrets.
After sharing everything from trust to bad relationships we finally realized that we had feelings for each other. And then I waited for him to admit it first. I waited... And waited...
… then I lied that I was leaving the country. He showed concern by asking me to stay. When pressed upon the subject as to why, he hinted that he has feelings for me. (Jerk 10 X 100 X 25 times or what ever.).
Even after admitting it he was a spineless piece of shit, because he didn’t make any move from that point onwards.
After many more confrontation and sneaky flings we started dating.
It only lasted a month.
I smelt foul play each time he supposedly went on “assignment”. Even with all the rumors, I still stood by him, until I saw it with my very own eyes.
The pain i felt was unbearable. It would have been better if he had stabbed me in the chest.
What I really did not understand was why use friendship as a key to open me up and then break my heart. Out of All the heartbreaks this was the worst.
If I had not let him in, none of this would have happened.

PS-
So…I hope you rot in hell for hurting me. I just wanted to write this after so long,just to get it out of me. .

Writers wanted for a new magazine...

2007-07-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

... and if you are reading this right now .. it means your are interested. so contact me.
=)

FAKEY

2007-07-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder why some women ruin their lives by re bonding or rather permanently straightening their naturally curly hair? I mean come on??? why ruin your beautiful hair? with all sorts of chemicals? knowing your hair will never be the same!
you cannot have PERMANENT long beautiful straight tresses by just doing something AT A FLASHY SALON.
It doesn't even last longer than 3 months anyways. just think, the damned thing grows by its roots. and when it does you look like freaks. with the top bit all wild and curly and the ends looking all dead straight. it looks fucking horrid.

why am I so bloody pi st? cos each time I visit a salon , I AM asked IF my hair is naturally straight. what the fuck? and today .. for like the 10Th time a woman who has been travelling with me in the same freaking van for the past 3 years asked me , where I get my hair IRONED?? for all you perfect -not-a-hair-out-of-place-psychos.. leave me alone.
I don't give a rat's ass if its fake or not. don't ask me where I get mine.
I cant help it if all you women look like a bunch of freaks cos u freaking brought it on your selves anyway.

ugh

So Tire-d!

2007-07-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this is happening to me. or anyone else for that matter. Its just not fair. I have noticed that almost every teenager / young adult ( like me hehehehe) of this generation has formed a Lil " tire" around their belly. Its more hideous when you wear tight clothes because the tire is cut into two and makes you like the Michelin man when you sit down. Its so god damn ugly that you just cant think of getting your ass into anything apart from really loose clothes, which makes you at least ten years older than you are.

I have sat down and wondered HOW we can stop this forming of a .. er.. "tire" .. around our stomachs. we have a few options.
1. Hit the Gym
2. Go on a diet
3. Wear loose clothes and look a hag
4. Die

I think some of us would rather choose no 4 and forget all of the above cos, hitting the gym + dieting.. = dying anyways.. it may not kill you instantly but.. it will kill you eventually!!

so fellow bloggers, please do advise another way we can get rid of these .. tires..

What’s with community sites?!

2007-06-29T03:22:00.001-07:00

Since of late i have noticed an increase in the usage of community sites such as hi 5, face book and my space. My favorite at the moment would be face book. Cos of it’s the only community site which has solid privacy. I find the features quite interesting as well.

Recently I was even able slap my arch enemy!! You may even wonder why I have an arch enemy on my friends list. Well.. There is a saying that you should keep your enemies closer. But since the slap was anonymous.. I feel no remorse.

Moving on, i ve also noticed these sites are intolerably commercial. Too many features can confuse the socks off some. Like example the top friends feature and then there s the name my friends feature. Is that not the same? I mean come on.. Putting up their names or adding them on to your list which may appear on your profile means you hang with then none the less anyways.

Then there s the photo comments.. Why do some ppl accept comments from strangers? It’s not like its some kind of competition right. Its as if the person with the most photo comments wins.. Oh like what ever! And what is with the slutty pictures anyways? We really dont care if you took that picture while you having a bath. Just take it off you whore! And then what bout the girl sitting facing the camera with her legs apart. She looks bout seventeen.. But a whore none the less. You might wonder what i m trying to get at.. Which is good cos, i my self seemed to be a lil confused now. . Argh!!

Biggest club night of the year organized by some event management company at a popular night club in colombo...

2007-06-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

... was utterly congested with sweating bodies.
*pig snort!!*

This is how it ends ( part one )

2007-06-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

Shehani

I was finally happy.
Every time I looked up at him I realized that I had the most incredible man any woman could ever ask for.
I met him at a bar, where I used to haunt to get over my mistakes. He was doing the same. There were times when I noticed him sitting alone while I was with my girlfriends enjoying a good bitching session.
My friends now consisted of heart broken females who were maliciously dumped for different reasons. Our fate brought us to this very bar and created a bitter sweet friendship.
My eyes went towards the man who drank alone. I was drawn towards the loneliness that surrounded him. He seemed happy with the empty space. And that was something I have always wanted.
Then one day, he turned to look back at me. As though he felt me staring at him. His eyes read mine. That’s where it all began.
My relationship with the bar girls halted. I rarely saw them. But i often thought about how hurt they were and how we all trusted each other with our deepest secrets.
Suddenly they seemed like strangers to me.
My relationship with him grew stronger.
I felt like i was in love.
Again.
But how could I? Get over the only man I had loved for so long. It didn’t take long for him to get over it though.
He was now with her.
One of the bar girls.
The tall, sexy one. The one who got her heart broken by a wannabe musical artist. He treated her so bad; she swore she would never date another man ever again. Guess she was wrong.
Aren’t we all?
Seeing them together gave me mixed feelings.
Anger and pain.
I was content with my life. But seeing him happy was not what I wanted.
My nights were cold and sleepless.
I knew what I had to do now.
Just like the saying “it’s a small world after all” I also happen to know the musical artist who broke her heart. With a little help I managed to get the bar girl’s feelings tangled up with the return of the musical artist.
I sat back and enjoyed all emotions being tossed around. He just did not deserve her anyway. And of course she was pregnant with the musical artist’s child so she just had to leave him.
I was finally happy. And I only have myself to thank.

Devinda

I was angry. Every time I looked up at her beautiful face it reminded me of betrayal and pain.
The pain she caused for so long. She thinks she knows what she is doing. She is so wrong.
She thinks she has control of things. But she does not.
When we were apart I watched her make a fool out of her self at bars. What she does not know is how stupid she looks when she is drunk.
Thank god that part of me is over.
But if it’s over why do I care so much?
I never really understood why I didn’t want to see her happy. I just didn’t.
While she was out falling in love again, I met another beautiful woman, whom I shared a deep bond with from the day we met. It was at the same bar I had met my old friend who had just gotten over another fling. He never had a problem with women. He never really emotionally attached himself with any. And he loved to drink.
She was tall and slim. With flowing hair around her face she looked like a goddess. I was attracted to her instantly and I could tell that she was looking for a friend.
Weeks passed and we became close. Too close for a short period of time, but somehow it felt right.
I was happy that she was with me now and we spent almost every day together.
Somehow, seeing the woman who ruined my life happy disturbed me. I had many sleepless nights before wondering if he really did love her. But knowing him, he probably didn’t. He always got around them and then left them when they needed him the most.
Even though, she seemed happy now. She won’t be for long.
I watched them play house for awhile. Then laughed to myself knowing that it won’t be for long. Just when I was enjoying the pain I was about to cause, I get a phone call from her.
The woman who mended my broken heart.
She was pregnant.
With another man’s child.
She left me that evening.
Somehow I didn’t feel lost because I knew what was coming.
She was gonna lose the game she started.
The bar was empty that night. I saw her face. I didn’t have to read her mind to know her exact thoughts. She was hurting. Just like me.
We exchanged looks.
And I knew this was only the beginning.

My Morbid Nightmare (Part one)

2007-06-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

The door opened.
I waited for someone to come out.
But there was only an eerie silence.

The shadows passed the doorway, but never entered the room. I edged closer to the door. The shadow which formed outside the door seemed inhuman. Slightly disfigured, with no legs for support.
I placed my hand on the door knob and began sweating with fear. I hesitated before opening the door wide. Flash of my childhood memories hit me as I did.
But there was nothing outside my room.

But then who opened my door? The question screamed inside me as I slowly walked back to my bed.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my shoulder.
I didn’t have time to turn back to scream.
The hand was oozing blood and flesh hanging out as if it had been slashed. The smell of decomposition filled my nostrils.

I started screaming.
I woke up screaming.
It was a dream. Just a dream.

I was sweating and shaking all over. I wiped my forehead with the back of my palm.
Just then the door opened.
I waited for someone to come out.
But there was only an eerie silence.

STRANGE ATTRACTION

2007-06-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

At first I didn’t want to believe that it was actually happening.

But I know I had to.

I was falling in love with a person I least expected to fall in love with.

I watched him toss the ball to another guy on the rugby team. I couldn’t believe how good he looked in that school rugby team sweatshirt. He laughed out loud as the guy missed the ball, and my heart skipped a beat. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It was indeed a weird feeling.

I’ve always liked him as a good friend. But… now it seems quite different.
It started last week, after Samantha’s party. I remember having a long chat with him. We discussed our personal lives, and I even wondered if he was high because he poured, out a lot about his ex girlfriend. She was nothing much in my opinion. A bit of a bitch too.

I watched him jog over to grab a bottle of mineral water and take a big swig into his mouth.

Sigh! He seemed like the perfect man.. .No wonder I was so attracted to him.

He had everything.
The looks.
The body.
The hair.
The grades.
The popularity.
The charm…

But he was not going to be a COMPLETE perfect man unless he has a suitable partner and that would be ME of course!!

I sighed. But alas! He would never ask me out for many different reasons. One such reason is that I have bad hair! It never stays in place. Even with gel on, it pops up. It actually looks a cross between Lenny kravitz’s and Diana Ross’s.
Just imagine how embarrassing it is to have that kind of hair..

The field was packed with all kinds of teams practicing. I better leave before anyone notices me staring at the captain of the rugby team! Rumors spread around school – real fast!

“Shehan!”

I turned.

It was him.

I smiled and jogged over.

Happiness...

2007-06-22T04:10:00.000-07:00

His hands in hers..

2007-06-18T04:24:00.000-07:00

He looks at me with tired eyes
I take his hands in mine
If only u loved me all those years
We could have been just fine

He waits for her all day long
Singing the same old song
I m right here where I belong
But you ve ignored me all along

If only you could see
How much you mean to me
If you could only let me
I would set you free

All these years I have spent with you
I wonder if we can make it through
I wish you could only see through to me
Like I have seen through your pleas

Beautifully Disturbed

2007-06-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

She’s like a goddess
She’s the virgin everyone wants to fuck
She’s the light in the darkness
She’s not like the whore in your pick up truck

Her hair flows around her
When the wind blows in her face
They all want to touch her
Or at least see her in lace

It’s like butterflies in your stomach
When you see her smile
Even the girls want to be her
At least for a while

I see her everyday
But mostly at night
I see her look at me
With tears in her eyes

She’s really not that pretty
When you look up close
No, I’m not being bitchy
And she’s got a big nose

She looks at me with tears in her eyes
Its not that i have not seen her cry
If they only knew what she feels inside
Maybe it would change what they desire

I want to be open and set her free
These voices in my head gotta set them free
Oh! Beautifully disturbed lil’ old me
When I look in the mirror she’s all I see!

You found me when I was lost

2007-05-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

I ve walked around blindly waiting for my day to come
I ve felt strange things along the way, most which broke my heart
In darkness I pushed my way, not knowing what was before me
Then I felt you take my hand and show me light again

You found me when I was lost
You helped me mend my broken heart
You showed me love and many more
Now I know what the future holds

I love you more everyday
More than just words can say
Please be mine forever and always
This is all I ask of you

She paints her heart black

2007-05-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

She paints her walls black
It reminds her of that night
The night his heart was black
When all she wanted was to share the light

She painted her dreams
With him in mind
But now he screams
Cos she feels so blind

The paint stains her hands
And she wipes them away
Just like the blood on her hands
When she took his life away

“Don’t paint this picture” he said
But if only he knew he would end up dead
That picture still in mind
She walks away feeling fine

An Ode to Snooty

2007-05-07T22:58:00.000-07:00

The Dark cold nights are now gone
And I feel like I’ve known you all along
I wish I’d met you years before
And if only you had not been so slow!

Your attitude was real put off!
If only I knew you could make me laugh
I would have been nicer to you
Or at least said “hello”!

Now that you’re finally mine
I’ll make sure you’ll do just fine
I know we can make each other smile
Even though it maybe hard with a gum boil..

This lil limerick is for you
Too bad I can’t call you pooh!
I guess you’ll be my “snooty”
Or maybe I’ll change it to broody!

The Female Reaper

2007-04-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

Her eyes are cold
she's like the reaper
she'll take you home
a place where no one's been before

her hands are cold
she looks like the angel of death
she waits for you
she waits all day long

when you're finally home
you see her staring back
you wonder why
you wonder if she knows

you can see her eyes burning
burning with hate
before you could give your reasons
she stabs you dead

they call her a maneater
they wish her dead
they all want to fuck her
they want to see her in hell

she's like the reaper
she'll follow you home
she'lll call your name
and bury you dead

her eyes are cold
her face is blank
her hands are cold
her heart is black

sometimes i wish i knew her
wonder why she hates them so bad
when i stare in to the mirror
she's staring back

Chronicles of Nawam Mawatha: The Horse,The Rain and some very confused humans

2007-04-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

It was raining... and a tall dark figure trotted towards me,
at a distance it looked like a goddess, with flowing hair .. and then it stopped and looked at me straight in the eyes,..
i felt a stab of fear as it started sniffing the thin line between us..

i backed away.
it turned around... and raised its tail and let out a few contents what seemd to have been in its stomach for a while.

damn those horses!! running around and shitting in public!

THE POISONED ROOTS

2007-03-28T21:06:00.003-07:00

There’s a poison tree
Right beside me,
Should I cut it, or let it grow?
I see shadows across my window
Waving at me, through my glass doors

The poison tree has cast its spell upon me
Scared as hell I might be
Stronger than ever I will see,
The poison tree growing beside me

Roots start to grow
Grow up to my door
Slamming of the wooden square
Would not help it slow

It’s crawling up beside me
Right up to my bed
These dark dark shadows
Are bringing me hell